Life is restless, isn't it? It's never stagnant, but always moving, always changing. Same for me. I'm restless. I feel change coming, but I don't yet know what it is.
In nature the restlessness builds until life, in the form of spring, must break through. Is that what's happening with me right now? I'm not sure.
I feel it, too
The restlessness of nature here where I live (in Cortland County, New York State, wine and dairy country) reaches a breaking point that turns winter into spring. I feel like I'm going through that process too. There's a restlessness in me that is stirring me and pushing me and generating new ideas and new desires, some of them in directions far from the one I'm used to. Maybe I want to help up and coming writers to hone their craft. Maybe I want to help local businesses master social media. Maybe I want a retail shop with items that blend wellness with magic, with private rooms for readings and reiki and maybe a little yoga. There are so many things I want to do!
With nature, I can see the signs
The tips of the trees on the snow-covered hilltops that surround my home, are red with new life. The poplars are budding visibly, as are some of my smaller trees and shrubs. Soft as velvet, pale green sections are emerging from the ends of every branch on every spruce tree. They'll lengthen to several inches and stay just that soft for a while. I love to touch them, actual newborn needles, all soft and delicate against my fingertips. It's the only time evergreen needles are so soft you want to pet them.
The red-winged blackbirds have returned. Well, a few of them have. I spotted a pair of males today, their shoulder patches kind of a dirty tan. I was so happy to see them, I forgot I had my phone right in my pocket, and didn't get a picture, but I will! Soon those patches will turn bright red, and every treetop will have a blackbird perched on high, shrugging his red shoulders and chirring his mating call. That's the sound that says spring to me most, when I go outside and the entire world seems filled with those calls. Here, just listen to this one, and you'll know what I mean. In spring, that sound is everywhere around me, where I live. It's not a pretty call, but to my ear, they might as well be shouting, “SPRING! SPRING! SPRING!” (This is not my backyard.)
With nature, I know what's going to happen.
It's the same pattern every year, with only slight variations. The buds appear on the deciduous trees, and those new green needles grow on the conifers. The blackbirds return, and then the robins. The snow melts, the wind blows, the sun feels warmer than before, and the days get longer.
I watch all this and wonder why my own life patterns can't be as predictable. Or maybe they are and I just have yet to recognize the pattern. I feel this restlessness, this stirring of something new from way down in my subconscious, a longing for something I can't identify. And maybe it's just cabin fever, and it will all be fulfilled once I can get outside and play in the dirt and meditate by the stream, and bask in the sunlight. Or maybe it won't. Maybe it will remain and I'll have a whole new business a year from now. I just don't know yet.
I know what I don't want…
That's always the first part of the puzzle, knowing what you don't want. What I don't want is to have to spend most of every day online. The sitting, the repetitive motion, the backlit screens are giving me physical repercussions that are not fun. I don't want to spend so many hours working and so few playing. The whole point of working is to earn an income, but if you never enjoy the income you earn, life is just passing by, un-enjoyed, un-basked in, un-appreciated, really.
I know some of what I do want…
I want to contribute something of value to the world, and my books do that, I think. But other things could too. I also want to spend less time working and more time enjoying life. I'm starting to hear that clock tick-tick-ticking in the back of my mind. Maybe the news that I will be a great grandma before this year is out has something to do with that. But there's more to it than that.
So I'm branching out…
I'm trying a bunch of new things, mainly just to see whether: a. I enjoy them, and b. they are worth the time they require from me.
Some of these new experiments are listed here on the site. If they pan out, they'll get their own dedicated websites. If not, they'll fade away. Here are some of the ways I'm branching out.
- I love making graphics and videos, so I now offer that service to authors and businesses.
- I love love love doing spiritual counseling and readings for people, using my cards and my connection, so I offer readings now as well
- I love helping new authors sharpen up their storytelling skills, so I'm just now offering a story evaluation service.
- I really want that kitschy wellness magical shop, so I'm keeping my eyes out for opportunities to make that happen.
- I'm writing a story I love, a Brown and de Luca novel, and that's going really well. I will never stop writing.
- I'm meditating every day to open my channels for new insights.
- I'm wide open to any new ideas that come to me.
Maybe I'll figure out what my third act will be. Maybe spring will come and my restlessness will be assuaged by my time outside in the sun. I have no idea what's coming next for me, but I feel like I'm ready and eager for something brand new.
If you're interested in an intuitive/tarot reading: Readings
If you're a writer, interested in professional story evaluation, Email for details
If you need a video ad or trailers, social graphics, or animated Facebook header: Giddy Graphics